+912226701398 DrRekha@2bemom.in

HomeMakers

HomeMakers

Dr. Rekha Agrawal

August 4, 2019

Most women are propelled by family members, advertisers and co-workers to believe that they are superwomen.
It is easy to be carried away. It is easy to feel that gush of pride and go beyond your capabilities
I know so many women who are cooks in the morning,cleaners,software engineers working from home ,babysitters by day,and glamorous spouses by evening.
I am sure most of my readers identify with this image.
Most men on the other hand are full time office goers and part time husbands.
This is not to demean men by any chance! They are smart and they know their limitations and hence are not trying to juggle many hats. But women do take on many hats and much to their dismay are left juggling and stressed and miserable.
The worst hit is THE HOMEMAKER.

In course of daily practice as an obstetrician and gynaecologist I come across so many women. When asked what do you do in life they say and I quote “ I am ONLY a housewife or I am only a homemaker “
I take strong exception to this.
I think the homemaker has it the toughest!
Every other member of the family has some defined role but homemaker has NO definitive role,as a result everyone dumps their work on the homemaker.
If a homemaker were to sit and evaluate her day she will definitely think she has been busy all day and not achieved anything substantial!!!And why is she feeling so tired??? Because she dropped kids to school after packing their food,ran with a glass of milk after them, combed their hair and reminded them to take their journals. Then she came home dealt with the househelps and the parents-in-law,got groceries,packed tiffin for husband and other office goers in the house,then after quickly going through her bath , pooja arranged breakfast for the members at home, instructed the cook the plan for lunch…………………and it goes on and on.
A homemaker NEVER FINISHES HER TO DO LIST.
Partly the women are responsible as they have given priority to all others above their own.They have always felt that since I am not able to bring any money let me be of use around the house . In this guilt trip she tries to do all she can and much more,selflessly and sometimes at the cost of self.
The final result is
  1. You are taken for granted
  2. No one understands what you are sacrificing to be available 24/7
  3. There is no value in terms of money put to your services
  4. When you are down the whole system collapses

So how to go about it with love and still remain important in the lives that we touch?

Key points to remember are
1. Delegate what you can, say buying brown paper to cover books, let the child buy it on his way home
2.Remain absent or unavailable for a fixed period everyday.say you are not going to be reachable between 2-4 pm daily as you are going for a kitty party or yoga or music classes. Being unavailable makes others realise your importance.
3. Have one thing outside of home to look forward to daily.it may be as simple as going for a walk in the evening with your friend or your music
4. Remain away from home for a few days, go away to your sister’shouse parents place once in awhile let the husband handle things for a few days. Respect for you in his eyes will increase tremendously.
5. Try to decrease what you, do every six months,Review what others can do and allow them to do it by not doing it for them.
6. Give importance to your self and once in awhile pamper yourself
7. ABOVE ALL BE REAL AND LOVE YOURSELF FIRST
FUN FACT: Homemakers are the only people who are unpaid , highly sincere and honest workers with no contracts

Related Articles

HomeMakers

HomeMakers0 Comments Most women are propelled by family members, advertisers and co-workers to believe that they are superwomen. It is easy to be carried away. It is easy to feel that gush of pride and go beyond your capabilities I know so many women who are cooks in...

Depression in middle age

8th march is WOMEN’S  day.   I personally don’t believe in women’s day.However , market forces decide such celebrations   .Life is a festival if one celebrates everyday,every moment. DIAGNOSIS As my mothers are growing older, so are their children,I...

Depression in middle age

8th march is WOMEN’S  day.   I personally don’t believe in women’s day.However , market forces decide such celebrations   .Life is a festival if one celebrates everyday,every moment. DIAGNOSIS As my mothers are growing older, so are their children,I...

0 Comments

My babies

Depression in middle age

Depression the way out

Depression the way out

8th march is WOMEN’S  day.

 

I personally don’t believe in women’s day.However , market forces decide such celebrations

 

.Life is a festival if one celebrates everyday,every moment.

DIAGNOSIS

As my mothers are growing older, so are their children,I encounter a lot of women with depression.

Not an easy diagnosis!. They seem to be moving along the corridors of their lives as usual. A keen eye,a subtle change,a sympathetic ear will not miss it. But most are missed by their children and,partners.

 

PRESENTATION

 

They present to us in various ways.

Most common presentation is weight gain!!

Homemakers are the worst victims. They spend better half of their life ,just like caregivers, tending to each and every need of the children,husband,inlaws etc,so much so that they lose their individuality.

One fine day the children have grown up and don’t need her hand holding,

The husband is busy at work and the homemaker is left with loads of time at hand.

This is the time she feels lonely, unloved,and as if useless in the lives of those who she thought were her life.

In the rush to look after everyone’s needs she forgot to cultivate friends.

she forgot to look after her health .

she forgot about her hobbies .

 

ALL IS LOST????

 

IT  IS NEVER TOO LATE .

To my gorgeous mothers I have this to say

YOUR PRESENCE WILL ONLY  BE NOTICED BY YOUR ABSENCE

Homemakers, everyone takes you for granted . Sometimes you wonder if you are even being noticed or you are just a part of the furniture at home?

Before this happens start being “unavailable “  for a few hours on a daily basis.

For those hours be completely with yourself,don’t even answer the phone unless it is an emergency.

Make a plan for yourself.

Every individual must devote at least 60 minutes  to oneself  everyday.

It may be just strolling in the garden or reading a book or listening to music or yoga.

Just do something for yourself and as more time becomes available increase the time you devote to yourself.

YOUR SANITY IS MOST IMPORTANT FOR SANITY OF YOUR FAMILY

Just these simple steps go a long way in increasing your self esteem and worth.

I have never failed with this formula.

Set a goal ,say learning to paint or just learning to sing or simply walking 6 km daily.

Work  towards achieving your goal daily and you will be surprised how much joy this gives you.

How you look forward to doing that activity and how you have no time to feel sorry for yourself.

Mothers if you had the ability to give life ,you surely are strong enough to pick up yourself and make a fantastic life for yourself.

GO ! ENJOY GUILT  FREE!

IT IS NOT A Crime TO BE  HAPPY 

Do write back if any of you identify with the above.

LIVE LIFE QUEEN SIZE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Weight Gain in Pregnancy

                  img_6099

 

How to gain less for mom and more for baby

Why so much data on diet and no clarity  on what is good for a pregnant lady? Why so much confusion?

No one should tell you exactly how much of each item you need to eat.

we should allow our common sense to prevail. Spoon-fed-up is a new term I would like to coin for all those who are frustrated by the diet plans carved in great details by the dietitians with very little wiggle room.

Come on folks let’s give some credit to our grey cells and  not take instructions for simple things like what to eat!!!!

Indian food from all regional cuisines are very well balanced. If we were to eat what a common man of the region eats we would all be healthy.

img_4146

The problem today is :

We live in Mumbai and we want to eat food from NY or LA or Italy!

Why do you think every locality grows different food, different grains?

why North India grows wheat and south grows rice?

that is because environmental conditions in each region are different.

Animals in that region are also in accordance with the environment.

But humans  live local and eat global? How can that be correct?

All foods traditionally prepared are also according to seasons

In winters – Moong Dal Halwa

In rainy season- Pakoras

In summers- Aam Panna

Why don’t we have aam panna in winters?

Bajra(millet) is traditionally had in winters.

If one can follow simple rule -EAT FRESH

EAT LOCAL

EAT SMALL

DRINK PLENTY OF FLUIDS

WORK OUT  FOR  20 minutes

EAT FRESH

if you notice most stomach related problems ( if not all) are related to food. By making small changes in food intake they can be cured.

img_6100

Let us deal with indigestion

1) Identify the food that repeatedly causes indigestion, say some milk or milk products- then avoid it esp if you are lactose intolerant.

2) Fried and spicy food can upset your digestion

3) Difficult to digest food e.g some meats

4) Overeating can also be the cause ,hence have smaller  meals.

5) You can’t go wrong with increasing veggies in your meals

6) Decrease the grains on your plate ( don’t make it zero)

7)  Increase the proteins on your plate and keep rotating the proteins.  Same protein  every da is not enough .This is because each protein has  adifferent set  of amino acids . Your body needs all the essentials amino acids.

So have a different protein in each meal.

Milk and eggs in breakfast ( chick pea flour  pancake for vegetarians)

Dal and sprouts in lunch.

Chicken and something curds in lunch.

Roasted chana in evening snacks.

Milk twice a day

Another advantage of protein is that the gastric emptying time is longer so you feel fuller for a longer time.

Carbs on the other hand have a shorter gastric emptying time and also cause water retention.

This site is not meant to give you a complete knowledge about diet in pregnancy. It will act like a shepherd only,like a guiding star giving your correct directions.

Most info is found on internet but how to interpret that info no one tells us. This task I have taken up and even if I can touch a few hundred lives  I will have done my job

More specific tips in my next post.

 

 

:)