In course of daily practice as an obstetrician and gynaecologist I come across so many women. When asked what do you do in life they say and I quote “ I am ONLY a housewife or I am only a homemaker “
I take strong exception to this.
I think the homemaker has it the toughest!
Every other member of the family has some defined role but homemaker has NO definitive role,as a result everyone dumps their work on the homemaker.
If a homemaker were to sit and evaluate her day she will definitely think she has been busy all day and not achieved anything substantial!!!And why is she feeling so tired??? Because she dropped kids to school after packing their food,ran with a glass of milk after them, combed their hair and reminded them to take their journals. Then she came home dealt with the househelps and the parents-in-law,got groceries,packed tiffin for husband and other office goers in the house,then after quickly going through her bath , pooja arranged breakfast for the members at home, instructed the cook the plan for lunch…………………and it goes on and on.
A homemaker NEVER FINISHES HER TO DO LIST.
Partly the women are responsible as they have given priority to all others above their own.They have always felt that since I am not able to bring any money let me be of use around the house . In this guilt trip she tries to do all she can and much more,selflessly and sometimes at the cost of self.
The final result is
- You are taken for granted
- No one understands what you are sacrificing to be available 24/7
- There is no value in terms of money put to your services
- When you are down the whole system collapses
So how to go about it with love and still remain important in the lives that we touch?
Key points to remember are
1. Delegate what you can, say buying brown paper to cover books, let the child buy it on his way home
2.Remain absent or unavailable for a fixed period everyday.say you are not going to be reachable between 2-4 pm daily as you are going for a kitty party or yoga or music classes. Being unavailable makes others realise your importance.
3. Have one thing outside of home to look forward to daily.it may be as simple as going for a walk in the evening with your friend or your music
4. Remain away from home for a few days, go away to your sister’shouse parents place once in awhile let the husband handle things for a few days. Respect for you in his eyes will increase tremendously.
5. Try to decrease what you, do every six months,Review what others can do and allow them to do it by not doing it for them.
6. Give importance to your self and once in awhile pamper yourself
7. ABOVE ALL BE REAL AND LOVE YOURSELF FIRST
FUN FACT: Homemakers are the only people who are unpaid , highly sincere and honest workers with no contracts